when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
