I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
