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Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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