I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
