the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
