She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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