even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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