no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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