very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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