He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
