Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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