I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
