i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
