The maid of honor just puked.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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