so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
