normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
