it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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