At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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