Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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