Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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