so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have feelings that need drinking.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
