In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
