Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
