Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
