haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
