she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This baby is an asshole
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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