Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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