How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
