I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
