Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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