your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
