At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
