And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
