Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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