found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize