Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
