More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
