Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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