I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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