Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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