I wanna bring you to show and tell
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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