just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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