So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
