Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
