TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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