Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
