Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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