its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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