i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
