i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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