chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
