In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
