Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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