You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
