I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
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