I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
