Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You made out with two different species that night
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
