google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Is it because I queefed?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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