Do you still have your period?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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