please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
