We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
